Strange as it may seem one of the reasons people often don’t achieve what they want in life is because they don’t have permission to do so.
What?!?! How can an adult not have permission? Well it happens – and it happens fairly often so let’s take a look at this and see how it might apply to you (and what you can do about it).
When we are small we have lots of people telling us what to do. There are parents, teachers, care givers, siblings, peers, and so on. So we are used to needing permission to do many of the things we want to do. For obvious reasons this is a good thing. It is appropriate for example that a 5 year old should ask permission before going down the street to play. And for a 9 year old to ask permission before cooking.
What happens though is that we grow up and never entirely shed that “permission mode.” So as adults we unconsciously still ask for permission, even though it’s not necessary anymore.
Sometimes this appears in seeking approval from others. And often it’s not allowing ourselves to do things we want to do, then making up excuses about why we can’t do them. Yes – we refuse to give ourselves permission!
And this is the root of the problem really – us not giving ourselves permission to lead the kind of life we want to live.
So what can we do about that?
A great tip is the next time you catch yourself saying “no” or “I can’t” or making up excuses for things – stop and think it through for a minute. Is this really something you can’t do? Or is it an automatic response rooted in a habit that formed long ago?
Once you start looking at your negative responses objectively you’ll find that there are many things that you really CAN do. And with that new information, you’ll be able to start giving yourself permission to finally begin living life on your own terms.